The following is an excerpt from a blog post by Steven Polakoff, who owns a small independent Internet software company and resides in New York City.
Do People Really Choose to be Unhappy? The answer is yes they definitely do.
BUT MOST OF US, while we may not be immediately accepting of a horrific event or change of circumstance, why we at first may live in denial, a sort of shock state that is a natural defensive act of survival, eventually most of us move forward even if we do not know what the answer is or how to get to a new place to find that answer. And in order to be able to take those first bold steps and to keep moving, we must acknowledge we always have a choice, a chance to move to something new AND in doing so we leave behind some or all of our old selves and seek to be reborn or remake ourselves into something that works in a future world. And I might add it is usually at this turning point, when you first decide to get up from the mud, and see if you can move forward that your truest friends can be called upon for help, where your prayers are heard, where events will move to support your intentions and sometimes from nowhere, I have heard from others, some sort of guardian angel shows up, even if it is only briefly. (On this last point, please don’t think I am talking winged cherubs, but rather a chanced meeting with an old acquaintance or a brief encounter with a stranger who says something that set a bell off inside or even some person who for some reason comes into your life for a few months and then is gone just as suddenly.)
We set up the challenge, we make new rules, then we learn and practice new skills and then we play the new game. In this way we are very successful because we are free, we in fact get to be the creator of our existence, of where our time here will take us and what we choose to achieve. And if we set it up wrong, or there is an unlucky break or we ourselves made a wrong assumption about what would work for us or some other player plays unfairly and knocks us over and the umpire failed to call a foul, we can still either choose to say:
1. Forget about it, life is unfair, others have done me wrong and since everyone can now see how miserable I am, I am not going to take responsibility for what has happened, I am going to just play the blame game so everyone can see that “the world has done me wrong”; or
2. We can dust ourselves off and if we are really lucky even laugh at ourselves a bit (because then you know you are ready to really give it up) and move on. And there is no limit to the number of times you can choose this choice. You are allowed as many “do-overs” as you are willing to undertake.
Life is a great adventure or nothing at all. Let the good times roll!!
To read the post in its entirety, go to http://happinessinside.ning.com/profiles/blogs/do-people-really-choose-to-be